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| Hello, All! I hope you are well. Time just keeps on flying by! I hope you are having an enjoyable summer. We have had a few adventures, but before I talk about them, I give you some updates. |
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| And we have 10…When Mo came to live with us two years ago, he soon started talking about bringing his best friend to live here. They had grown up together and fled Sudan together, and came to the US together, but Mo came to PA and Hassan to CA. After a long and complicated process, and one very brief visit here in August during the height of the crisis in Afghanistan, Hassan became our 9th foster child on June 11th. Hassan is really tall and skinny, and having some challenges adjusting, but we are hopeful that will pass. The photo below is Mo with Hassan and their friend AZ in Florida |
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| Ehsan started talking about bringing his friend Olfat here shortly after he joined us, but we were not sold on the idea at the beginning. Ehsan was not happy here for a while. In fact, he was pretty miserable for the first few months that he was with us. Gradually things got better. As his English improved, he became more engaged and engaging. So when the process for bringing Olfat here got to the point where Nolan and I had to commit, we said yes. Olfat joined us on July 15th. So far, he is doing well. |
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| For those of you who are trying to keep count… we now have 5 kids living full time in the house. In the order they joined us they are: Arif, Mo, Ehsan, Hassan, and Olfat. And I think someone is going to need a nickname, because Hassan and Ehsan sound way too similar and we pretty much always have to say the name a few times until the person we are talking to knows who we are talking about. 🙂 Isa, Roshan, and Ghani all have homes in the area, are driving trucks and are supporting their families. Hedayat is still in Lansdale working at a factory and talking about moving back to Allentown after he gets his driving license restored, which should be in mid-September . And Abu is doing well in the Air Force, working in logistics in Goldsboro NC.If you are curious, the boys’ ages…Isa, Roshan, Ghani: 24 Hedayat: almost 22 Arif: 20 Ehsan: 18 Olfat: 17 Mohamed: 16 Hassan: 15 |
| Nolan has made a couple of videos you might enjoy – the first is Foster Parenting from 2020 and the second is A New Family about the recent exponential growth of our family. |
| Our growing Afghan community |
| It also might be helpful to start with a recap here… |
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| Aunt Jane enjoying a delicious meal with the boys at Ghani’s house. |
| Ghani’s Crew – Ghani brought his older sister, Sukina, and her children Yasmin (now 14), Mohammad/Manzur (now 7), and Mehran (now 5). All the kids had birthdays in June, but Ghani was in Australia with Nolan so he is planning a family birthday celebration for later in the summer. The family is living in the very nice house in Bethlehem that Ghani bought in February. Yasmin completed 7th grade with straight As and Manzur completed kindergarten. Ghani’s family had stayed with us over the holidays and until they moved into the house in Bethlehem. Sukina is a gifted cook, and they have hosted several really large dinner parties. Sukina is still working on learning to drive and learning English, and Ghani is often on the road, but we do see them fairly regularly. |
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| Mahran checking out the fountains at Longwood Gardens as Aunt Jane watches to make sure he doesn’t climb too high! |
| Isa’s Crew – Isa and Sima were on their own for a while, as Sima’s dad and Isa’s uncle who had come with them during the evacuation, moved out to Nebraska to work in a slaughterhouse. There is a large community of Afghans there and I think they are doing well.Isa’s friend Rohullah went back to Afghanistan to get his young wife out, and miraculously, they made it. So Rohullah and his wife, Bahara, are now living with Isa and Sima and that seems to be a going very well. Isa took some time off from trucking as he had drivers for both his trucks. So he and Sima and Rohullah and Bahara have had a great time traveling. Sima had been working in housekeeping at the hospital but was ready for a change, so she left her job just before they started off on their summer vacation travels. After several weeks of traveling, hiking, kayaking, snorkeling, and soccer, the boys have gone back to work and the girls are looking for jobs and to start school. Sima has her driving license and her own car, so they are quite independent. |
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| Isa, Sima, Bahara, Rohullah, on the boat near Marathon, FL |
| Roshan’s Crew – Roshan’s little sister, Frishta, graduated from Whitehall High School. His little brother, Shawkat, is still in high school, I think he might be a senior this year, but am not sure about that. Roshan’s wife, Shegufa, and his two older sisters, Latifa and Fariza, and Frishta and Shawkat are all working at the hospital in housekeeping. The girls will all be going to the community college for the fall semester, taking English classes. Latifa did take one summer course through the LCCC ESL program, and I am sure she will be continuing with that. Isa’s uncle, Nematullah, who came with them, and the other uncle, Arif, who came with his wife Zulaikha, and their two small children, went to the trucking school in Florida for their CDLs. They were gone for two months, but were all successful and have now started driving. Arif, Zulaikha and the kids had been staying with the same lovely couple in Alburtis that Roshan’s family stayed with when they first arrived. When Uncle Arif went to Florida, Zulaikha and the kids moved in with Roshan’s family. After much searching and with a lot of help, they were finally able to find an apartment in Whitehall and are moving in this week. |
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| The Mohammadi Crew at Frishta’s graduation |
| Arif’s Crew – Esmat also went to the trucking school in FL and is now working. Aziza is home with baby Rayan who turned 1 year old on July 15th. Aziza has her license and a car, so she is very independent and doing great. She will start school at Northampton community College in the fall. Esmat and Aziza have a whole team of volunteers from the Moravian churches in Bethlehem. They have volunteers for helping with pretty much everything including college applications and financial aid, banking and budgeting, even hosting Rayan’s 1st birthday party! So they are doing great. Neamat and Sabera, who live across the hall from Esmat and Aziza, are working at the hospital in housekeeping. They are not sure what their plans are. I know that Neamat would love to get a job in journalism and he has a scholarship to a 4 year university program in NYC, but isn’t sure how he could manage rent and other expenses while going to school in NYC. Sabera is looking forward to going to school for English and then maybe for nursing. She was a police officer in Afghanistan. They are really lovely and great dancers! I took them on a day trip to the beach and for a very quick tour of lower Manhattan via the ferry. It was a lovely day. |
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| A few others – Laylula (I really can’t say or spell her name!) had a baby girl named Sana in early May. She is the lady who was special forces. Her brother, Hafiz, and their friend Zaki also went to Florida for the CDL training and they are on the road, working now. |
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| A lovely visit with Abu in NC |
| Adventures: Australia with Ghani The big adventure for this year was the trip that Nolan and Ghani made to Australia. Ghani has lots of family there, including a brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. In many ways, it seemed like an entire village was just transplanted from Afghanistan to Australia. Nolan spent a lot of time meeting Ghani’s extended family and he also got to spend a little time with Arif’s siblings, which was very sweet. Nolan has lots of photos and several videos of the experience. Day Trip from Melbourne: The Great Ocean Road Video – Ghani visiting with his brother, Khaliq and family Reunited Family Video After returning, Nolan has struggled lingering ear and sinus troubles, which put quite a damper on his summer, but he is doing much better now. Florida with Boys As usual, things didn’t quite work out as planned. And some of it was lousy, but mostly it was fun. This is a whole email/blog in itself, so I think I will take that on as a separate story. 🙂 If you want to go snorkeling in the keys, please call or email me…I have some suggestions. :-)We did get to spend a few fun outings with Isa and Sima and Rohullah and his new wife Bahara. |
| Dinner with Abu and the boys on our way to FL |
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| Enjoying the boat rides during our trip to FL |
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| Fun Day TripsPhiladelphia Zoo |
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| Taking a photo break at the Zoo |
| Philadelphia Art Museum |
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| The Mohammadi girls with Zulaikha and kids at the Philly Art Museum |
| NYC Aquarium and Coney Island |
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| Nolan and I are doing okay. Nolan is physically feeling better which makes him a lot less grumpy. 🙂 And work is going well, so he is in a good place. He had such a great experience with Ghani in Australia, but it took a while to recover from that. I am in a strange place. An in-between place. The right now is still full of busy, which is usual, but not as frantic as it had been. And the bigger plan, the long range goal is not clear. I went through a bit of grieving for the pottery business. For the past dozen years, when people asked me what I do, I would say, “ I am a potter” and that felt good. Now, “I am in between” and doing a bit of soul searching. I have a lot of directions I would like to go in, a bazillion things I would love to do, but I can’t do them all. I also don’t have as much time to waste, so giving myself a little time to choose as wisely as I can, seems like a good idea. With the new kids, there have been plenty of challenges and I wonder if maybe I am burning out a bit? The first few months with a new kid can be tough. After Mo I thought we wouldn’t get another one. But things turned around and were really good. Then after Ehsan I thought we might be done. And he came around. Sometimes it is a matter of riding out the storm until things get better. I keep reminding myself of how difficult things were at times with Roshan, Isa, Hedayat, and Ghani. And now they are all doing great, and we have wonderful relationships with each of them. |
| Copyright (C) 2022 Clay Street Speakeasy. All rights reserved. |
Category: Uncategorized
Family Adventure Update March 04/11/22
https://mailchi.mp/a77d71716ea6/family-adventure-update-march-2022
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| Roshan and Shegufa are married!They got married on February 27th in Alburtis at the lovely barn apartment where the family stayed when they first arrived in PA. Elaine and Dave, who own the property, arranged everything and were expecting around 20 people for tea and desserts. The day before, the guest list expanded to 40 and included a full Afghan meal. It all worked out beautifully! Elaine and Dave are incredibly gracious hosts and Roshan’s family did a fantastic job with the food. Of course, there was plenty of dancing after the ceremony! |
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| Selfies with MoMansur and Mehran love hanging out with Mohamed. |
| Finding a house for Ghani’s family was no small feat. In the end, we found a lovely 4 bedroom house on South Blvd in Bethlehem. It is walking distance from the elementary school, has a two car garage and nice fenced in back yard – and a huge kitchen! But closing didn’t happen until February 10th. |
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| Living with Ghani’s nephews was quite the adventure; we didn’t realize they would be staying with us so long, but by the time we figured out that they would be moving to Bethlehem, it didn’t make sense for them to move anywhere else, so they stayed. |
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| We ate very well, as Sukaina voluntarily cooked just about every dinner. Every once in a while Nolan or I would prepare dinner, but our cooking was not very well received. So far the only American foods that most of the newly arrived folks like are pizza, hamburgers, and tuna melts. We enjoyed the amazing Afghan foods very much, and were happy to go back to a bit more variety. |
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| The younger boy, Mehran, LOVES to wash dishes and help clean. He loves it so much that sometimes his older brother has to get in on the fun. |
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| Abu is in the Air Force!Abu was home briefly – he successfully completed basic training and his job training and is now off to his new gig with the Air Force in North Carolina. He is working in logistics – what is up with that? All my kids are in logistics! I picked him up in Philly in the snow storm and we managed to get back to Allentown okay, then he was back to Philly to get things sorted out in his apartment – he had left in quite a hurry! He was working for his recruiter while home, but we got to see him a couple of times; he got to play a few games of soccer with the boys and we had a nice little party to celebrate his graduation from the Air Force training. We are looking forward to seeing him for summer vacation. |
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| Arif got his CDL |
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| While his siblings are now safe in Australia, Arif is still feeling some pressure to help those who didn’t make it out yet, and others who are still in limbo. And he was feeling a bit frustrated with his classes at LCC. So after the holidays, he stayed with Hedayat for several weeks in Lansdale while he went through the training for his commercial driving license in Philly and eventually got it done. Now he is looking for a job. Driving jobs for those younger than 21 are not easy to find, but we have some good leads and he hopes to get his foot in the door so he can start getting some experience and then when he turns 21, he can start driving the big trucks and making the big bucks. 🙂 We felt really sad when Arif gave up on college and decided to get his CDL. He has so much talent and is very intelligent. But we think he will be okay. He reads, which gives him an advantage. All of our boys are amazing and wonderful, and he has got it all in spades – kind, funny, thoughtful, hard-working, talented, creative, smart… he reminds me a bit of my brothers who are those rare people who have everything – good at math and art and business and people… Arif could write a book, illustrate it, write and perform songs about it, and deliver them to the bookstore. 🙂 |
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| Isa and Sima |
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| Isa and Sima are doing great! Isa’s trucking business is doing really well and he is looking forward to having another driver in a few weeks so that he can stay home and do some projects around the house. He bought a new car. As Sima is working, they found they needed a second car, and he wanted a truck, so we did some research and he ended up with a super fancy new truck/suv kind of thing. I love shopping with Isa. We do a little bit of research, talk about what are the important features, come up with a short list, go see something, and we are done shopping. It was the same story with the first car (now Sima’s car) and the house. Sima is working with a bunch of the other Afghan folks at LVHN, cleaning hospital rooms. She loves it! She is practicing English every day and learning a lot. She loves talking to the patients and gets to have lunch with the other Afghan girls. She wants to go to school, and would love to get a job in the mall for a while. She loves being with people. We don’t see her often, but a couple weeks ago she called and asked if I could help her shop for some gifts for Isa on her day off. So she came over and we did some online shopping, got some great insights from Arif, went to Macy’s and got some lovely gifts, then went out to lunch. We shared a delicious chicken sandwich and shrimp tacos. She loved the chicken sandwich, but the shrimp tacos were even more delicious! 🙂 It was an afternoon of many firsts! I have to say that am pretty sure that I have the best daughters-in-law of all time. Sima and Shegufa are so lovely – kind and sweet, smart and funny… We got lucky with our boys, and we got doubly lucky with our girls! |
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| On April 2 (the first day of Ramadan) they had a party to formalize their engagement! An Afghan engagement party is a lot like anyone else’s wedding – with photos taken beforehand, a big cake, a big party and dancing. There was even a “knife dance” by Hedayat!While the date is not normally reserved for parties, they wanted to do this before a significant contingent of Roshan’s family headed to Florida for truck driving classes, and before Ramadan fasting was in full swing. Our village converged again to celebrate their commitment. |
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| Bowling |
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| One of the things we did with the kids from the beginning was bowling. And when they had their own cars and went out bowling on their own, we were really grateful that they invited us. And now that their families are here, they are continuing the tradition. And we find that for activities like this, having a bunch of people is even more fun!Mahran really wanted to bowl with all the adults and was pretty bent out of shape when he wasn’t allowed. But everyone else had a fantastic time. |
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| Ghani and ClanGhani has been home regularly since he closed on the new house. I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but Roshan co-signed the loan for Ghani so that he could get the mortgage. Roshan can surprise us sometimes. He is a lot more of a softie than he lets on! But back to Ghani… |
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| Ghani also got really lucky as far as getting outfitted in a new home. A friend from the Mosque who is moving gave Ghani two truckloads of furniture and accessories – kitchen ware, furniture, decorations, even a grill and patio furniture! It was all stored in Roshan’s garage until closing, and then Roshan, Ghani, and a few of the other boys moved all of it into Ghani’s new house.Sukaina has an amazing new kitchen and has been enjoying using it! As always, Mahran is keen to wash the dishes. |
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| Nolan and I are doing okay. There is a lot going on that I am not talking about here, because this is not supposed to be a novel. 🙂 One very sad thing that we have to report is that we lost our beloved Simba to cancer on Saturday. We are both still quite raw with the grief of it, so that is all I can say at the moment and keep typing. It was really sudden and fast. Life is so fleeting. 12 years or 112 years – it goes too fast. I don’t know how to do it any better than I am doing it, but it seems like there is never enough time to love everyone enough. |
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| Copyright (C) 2022 Clay Street Speakeasy. All rights reserved. |
Everyone is Here 12/8/21
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| Everyone is Here! UpdateSomeone recently asked me how things are going and my response was – a lot faster than I am! And that is pretty much how it is. |
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| The Girls Enjoying Trick-or-Treat Night |
| Isa – Isa’s house is lovely! Sima, and her father and Isa’s uncle are doing well. At some point we will have an open house. Right now, Isa is back on the road on and off and things are mostly quite groovy. |
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| Introducing Isa’s family to Dominos! |
| We were able to provide most of what they needed that wasn’t supplied by the resettlement agency through the generous support of many people. and I need to give a special thanks to our friends Charlie and Margaret and the Moravian Church in Emmaus. |
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| Some of the Michigan boys visiting Isa’s new abode |
| Roshan – Roshan’s family moved into their new home in Whitehall over Thanksgiving weekend. They are doing great – talk about luck! Roshan managed to bring 6 people with him from Afghanistan – his fiancée, 3 sisters, one brother, and an uncle. That in itself is amazing! But how to take care of all of them coming here with nothing? |
| The New House in Whitehall |
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| freshly painted and full of beautiful people and things |
| When they arrived, Roshan’s family stayed in a converted barn apartment in Alburtis until Roshan closed on the house in Whitehall. The family in Alburtis that hosted Roshan’s family have been amazing – driving them to English classes and taking them shopping, and hooking them up with a friend who did at least one tour in Afghanistan and has a junk hauling business who helped get the new house fully furnished. Two of Roshan’s siblings are in high school and the other family members are working part time at the Afghan restaurant on Tilghman St. The Alburtis couple also has a daughter who is an immigration lawyer who connected Roshan with a group that is helping him with the petition to bring his parents here. |
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| The Nephews |
| For Thanksgiving, the Alburtis couple graciously hosted Roshan’s clan and my brother and sister-in-law in Bethlehem very graciously hosted everyone else! They all had a wonderful time and we certainly have a whole lot to be grateful about. We weren’t sure how many people or dogs would be in our house and weren’t sure if it would be safe to leave them, so Nolan, Arif and I enjoyed a quiet evening at home. |
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| Sukaina and Yasamin |
| Ghani – Ghani’s sister and niece and nephews arrived and they didn’t quite have the luck of Roshan. The Alburtis couple was not able to take them and so they are staying at our house for the time being. It is not ideal, but we are making it work. Ghani was finally approved for a mortgage today, after Roshan offered to co-sign, so we are once again in intense house-hunting mode. (Thank you Diane!) The kids need to get registered for school, but we aren’t sure which district and are hoping to have more clarification on that within the next few days. In the meantime, keeping the kids out of trouble is a challenge, but we are enjoying many delicious meals that Sukaina is cooking for us. |
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| Sukaina and kids and Arif’s gang at Leeser Lake |
| Arif – Arif’s siblings who were stuck in Kabul are finally and amazingly safe in Australia now with their big brother, Reza. And the young SIV family with the baby arrived here from Poland last week. It turns out that the young man, Esmatullah, is the brother of Arif’s sister-in-law – married to his big brother, Reza, in Australia. So they are relatives of Arif’s. |
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| The little trouble makers are cute. |
| Since we have Ghani’s family here, we don’t have any rooms available so the couple with the baby are staying in a hotel room. But they have been sponsored by an interfaith group led by the Moravian Church of Bethlehem who have raised funds to pay their rent and are actively looking for an apartment for them. |
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| Aziza, Esmat, and the baby, Rayan, have been here almost every day and they are super lovely. Both of these young parents were journalists in Afghanistan and have college degrees. They had good jobs, had purchased a new house and furnished it and had decided to have a child. And then the situation started going downhill there and they were approved for the Special Immigrant Visa (SIV) because Aziza worked for the Army. We had been awaiting their arrival since early Spring, and then in mid July, the baby was born, and a few weeks later, the country was lost. There were quite a few fraught weeks before they were able to get out safely. |
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| Yasamin with baby Rayan |
| We are super grateful that they made it out and they are excited to be here and to go to school and create a new life here. Arif has been amazing with them and with Ghani’s family. Mohamad is also great with the kids and with the baby. When I have time to reflect on all of this, it will be an amazingly lovely memory! In the moment, it seems a bit hectic and chaotic and sometimes overwhelming. 🙂 |
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| Charlie and Yasamin working on Christmas cookies |
| A couple of anecdotes…Isa was telling me that one evening after they moved into the new house, Sima had made dinner and after dinner, father-in-law (Jumakhan) and uncle (Esatullah) sat down and were relaxing while Sima did dishes and cleaned the kitchen. And Isa told the men to get up and go do the dishes. They protested mildly, saying that Sima had it covered, and Sima said she was happy to do the dishes and Isa said no way. Sima made the dinner, you guys get up and clean the dishes! Isa and I had a good chuckle about it and agreed that when Sima is at school and working, everyone is going to need to pitch in to help. I have noticed that every time we have been to their home, father-in-law and uncle have been very good about serving and clearing and washing up. 🙂 |
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| Sima trying out the pottery wheel |
| And Mohamad, who still says he thinks he can manage more than one wife, said that after Ghani’s sister made dinner the other night, he came in to do the dishes and she tried to shoo him away and he said (quite proudly) that here, everyone is equal and he can do dishes since she made the dinner. He sounded happy about that and proud, which is really sweet. |
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| These are such little things, but so important because they show that we are making a difference in the day to day things, which are really the important things, and somehow through all of this we are raising really lovely young men. It doesn’t always feel that way to us, of course. There have been a lot of really challenging times when we wonder what the hell we are doing and how we can imagine that we are qualified to take this on and that kind of thing. I am pretty sure that all parents feel that way sometimes, but as a foster parent without biological children, I also suspect the anxiety can be more acute. |
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| We had some extra kids home for Thanksgiving! Two of Lucy’s babies – Honey and Frida Other Updates Hedayat is still in Landsdale working at the factory that makes wires and doing okay, though his roommates have gone off to get commercial driving licenses, so he is home alone most of the time. We are hoping to see him this weekend. Abu joined the Air Force! He wants to continue studying medicine and is looking at the Air Force as a way to continue his education without incurring student debt. He wasn’t expecting to get called for another 9 months or more, but a position opened up suddenly for a supply chain specialist and he figured, what the heck? So he had to pack and ship out in less than 24 hours! He is at basic training in Texas and when that is finished sometime around the end of December, he will go for training in Virginia, where we will visit him. |
| I am sorry that I have not been better at communicating. ( Since I last wrote we also had to have new roofs installed on our house and garage and set up shows in Bethlehem and Allentown for the holidays.) |
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| One of these days things will calm down a bit, but for now, please know that I am thinking about you and grateful for your love and support and am very much looking forward to chatting over coffee or a glass of wine soon! And if you are up for roller skating, let me know! For those who are trying to keep track, we have 16 new family members and here is the breakdown: Roshan – total of 6: (Fiancée – Shegufa; Sisters: Latifa, Fariza, Frishta; Brother – Shawkat; Uncle Nematullah) Isa – total of 3: (Fiancée – Sima; Uncle – Esatullah; Father-in-law – Jumakhan) Ghani – total of 4: (Sister – Sukaina, Niece – Yasamin; Nephews: Manzoor and Mehran) Arif – total of 3: (brother-in-law – Esmatullah, wife of brother-in-law – Aziza, baby – Rayan) |
New Family Arrivals 10/25/21
https://mailchi.mp/c32cd9402d1d/new-family-arrivals
| Roshan’s and Isa’s families have arrived! It has been quite a whirlwind! Roshan’s fiancée, 3 sisters, brother, and uncle arrived last Monday and are staying at a donated air bnb in Alburtis until their new house closes at the end of November. Isa’s fiancée, uncle, and father-in-law arrived the day after and are staying with us until Isa’s house closes tomorrow. Their flights came into ABE at 11:15pm so we had a couple of late nights and are still recovering. Everyone seems to be settling in happily and they are all having a great time. We enjoyed a breakfast that Isa and Sima prepared. |
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| There was a lot of paperwork to get through, and a lot of shopping which will continue for a while. One of the shopping sprees was at the Moravian Church Rummage sale in Emmaus. Our friends Charlie and Margaret arranged for the kids and their families to come and take whatever they could use and they found a lot of great stuff including bicycles, a Christmas tree, dishes, home décor, a leaf blower, and a washer and dryer. Yes, that is Santa’s feet sticking out of the side of the truck! And one of the uncles picked out some artwork including paintings of flowers and a painting of Jesus. You just never know! |
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| Thursday the boys took their families to Jim Thorpe for a train ride and Friday they went to an Afghan benefit concert in NJ and then afterwards took the ferry into NYC and walked all the way from the ferry terminal to Times Square. |
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| Roshan’s clan at Times Square.Isa and Sima cooking together – the potato pancakes she makes are fantastic! |
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| Shegufa (Roshan’s fiancée) has excellent English skills, and Roshan’s uncle, Nemat, also speaks English – I am not sure if he was an interpreter or worked for an American company. Isa’s fiancée, Sima, has some English and Roshan’s brother and sisters are all a bit shy but I am sure that with some classes, they will learn quickly. Isa’s father-in-law and uncle will need a little more work with the language skills, but they are hard workers and good natured, and they have a great support system here, so they will do fine. Here are the girls enjoying brunch at my mother and Bob’s. (The boys were all glued to their screens as some very big soccer match was on.) |
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| The situation for Ghani is not quite as happy. His fiancée, Sadiqa, and his sister and her children are in the camp in NM. Evidently, Sadiqa got into an argument with Ghani’s niece and then told Ghani she didn’t want to live with them. When Ghani said that he couldn’t afford 2 houses, Sadiqa moved to a different tent and told Ghani that she wanted to separate from him. There is more to the story, of course, We don’t know all that transpired – her story is quite different from his story, and we don’t want to assume that this was something planned, even though it looks a lot like that. (There are other girls who got engaged and when they got to the USA, broke off the engagement.) The upshot is that it is a sad situation and Ghani is heart broken. While it is a terrible thing to endure, breaking up sooner is at least marginally better than breaking up later, and Ghani is relieved that this happened before they started a family. Ghani is an incredibly kind and generous young man, and we are hopeful that he will find a great partner (or she will find him). In the meantime, Ghani’s sister, niece, and nephews will be coming to Allentown but we haven’t had any indication of when that will be. All their paperwork is complete, so it could be any day. We are still waiting on good news about Arif’s family and his friends in Poland – the young SIV couple with the baby. And we have been helping to fill our more applications for humanitarian parole for family of friends. At this point, I try to not to think too often or deeply about the situation in Afghanistan as it is too heartbreaking and there isn’t anything that I can do about it. Some bits of news we get from there are quite awful. I am not denying it exists, just consciously choosing to focus on the things that I can have some impact on. That can be a challenging line to walk, but I find it necessary for my sanity and ability to get out of bed. It is the old put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first-if-you-want-to-stay-concious-long-enough-to-help-anyone-else thing. 🙂 |
| There will be more happy news and photos of Isa’s new house to come soon!Thank you to all of you who continue to follow our story and send good wishes and prayers and support of all kinds! |
Getting Ready for New Family 10/4/21
https://mailchi.mp/266c4e5ad462/getting-ready-for-our-new-family
| Home ShoppingIt has been pretty much a whirlwind! The boys were out house hunting and the market is crazy, but both Isa and Roshan were able to find nice houses for what in today’s market are fairly reasonable prices. Roshan’s house is in the Cementon area of Whitehall, and Isa’s house is just a few blocks from our house! Closings are scheduled for Nov 24 and Oct 24. Thanks to our friend Diane who dropped everything in the middle of her own move to drive all over the Lehigh Valley and find good homes for these boys and their families! |
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| This photo is in front of one of the many houses we saw – not one that the boys purchased though it was a contender for a while. |
| Ghani has not been trucking as long as Isa or Roshan and needs a few more months of trucking income on the books before he will qualify for a mortgage, so he returned to work. Isa also returned to work – his truck needed some repairs and now is the busy season for trucking, so the boys want to work as much as they can while they can. Roshan has been waiting for his driver to get a load to PA so that he can also get back on the road. Once their families are here, they will have to be home regularly and won’t be able to work as much.Ghani’s family is still in New Mexico and Roshan’s and Isa’s families are in Virginia. They have gotten all their vaccines and tests but have no idea when they will be released. We haven’t heard anything from this end about it either. It could be 2 days or 2 weeks or even 2 months, but I am hopeful it won’t be that long! – Addendum – We just heard from Isa that his family should be coming to the Lehigh Valley within the next 2 weeks!We are hoping they will be here for Halloween, though I imagine that will be quite a strange introduction to US culture. :-)I think I may have mentioned that Ghani’s wife, Sadiqa, has her heart set on being a surgeon. I found out that Roshan’s fiancée, Shegufa, went to school for midwifery and is interested in becoming a nurse midwife. Shegufa’s father wants her to be an MD but Shegufa is looking for a faster track to a good profession.Everything may change once they really get here and settle in and life happens – that is the way of things of course. (I am a poster child for that.) And I am looking forward to seeing what unfolds. And so looking forward to having daughters in law!Donations and PayPalThank you so much to everyone who has donated to help! It means so much to know how many people out there care so much and want to help.We have used some of the donated money to help defray the costs of submitting several of the Humanitarian Parole requests. And we purchased some electric kettles we found on sale – there is a lot of tea drinking in the Hazara culture and the kettles will be well used! The rest is waiting until the families arrive and we see what their needs are. |
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| Unfortunately, the PayPal account that we set up to collect money for the boys and their families and other families in need has been frozen. I have heard from some people who donated that the money they donated hasn’t been debited yet from their accounts.Evidently, unscrupulous people were using the account to test fraudulent credit cards. We saw a bunch of $1 donations from people we don’t know and reported the suspicious activity to PayPal who said don’t worry about it. But then PayPal turned around and froze the account. Nolan was livid and did his best to get PayPal to release the funds but they would not budge. They are doing some sort of investigation and after 6 months will release the funds that are in that account.If you donated via PayPal, we are really sorry for this situation. Had we known, we would not have used PayPal. As it is now, if you would like to ask PayPal to refund your money, I believe that you can do that. Or you are welcome to leave it as it is and in 6 months, the money will be released and we will put it to good use then.Again, we apologize for this situation. Please contact us directly if you have any questions.Making the NewsIn case you missed it – we were interviewed by our local news. The reporter and camera guy were super nice and they interviewed us for more than 90 minutes! They used just a few seconds of the interviews – but it is a really nice story.https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/local-afghans-who-were-in-afghanistan-when-taliban-took-over-share-their-story/article_a9f2648e-17f7-11ec-9827-2315fe0212a1.html |
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| Other UpdatesWe are continuing to work on applications for Humanitarian Parole for the family members of the boys and their friends. It is a continually heartbreaking situation. Unfortunately, even though the Hazara people are one of the most at-risk groups in Afghanistan and they make up 10-20% of the population, from what we can tell, they made up less than 1% of those who made it onto the evacuation flights.So far, we don’t know of anyone who has made it to the US on the basis of an approved Humanitarian Parole petition. It is a terribly tricky situation. Most of these folks don’t have passports, so even if we can somehow get them visas, we aren’t sure how they would be allowed to fly anywhere. We still don’t know if the Taliban will even allow them to go to the airport for a commercial flight. And if they are in Pakistan, even with a Pakistani Visa, they may not be allowed to board a commercial flight with a valid visa, if their Pakistani Visa is not stamped properly – and most don’t have visas for Pakistan.If they have a SIV or P2 or P3 in process, their chances are a lot higher. SIVs are for interpreters and P2 and P3 are for other people who worked for contractors or media companies and such. The system is terribly complicated and difficult to navigate and can seem pretty hopeless, but we can’t and won’t give up.One Happy Ending/BeginningWe ran into this problem of legal, but not-quite-legal-enough in Pakistan with a cousin of Arif’s who had been accepted to a masters program in Austria. She had her visas and tickets booked for the end of August but of course, the Taliban took over. She had a visa to Pakistan and got herself there and tried to fly to Austria multiple times, but was not allowed because she didn’t have the proper stamp on her Pakistani visa.Nolan was able to put her in touch with one of our new contacts somewhere in Europe who was able to find a reasonable travel agent in Pakistan who was able to secure the stamp she needed and she made it out and is now at college in Austria!Personal UpdateNolan and I are really back to work now. Nolan moved his office back into the basement in preparation for whomever needs the bedroom space upstairs. My mom and I managed to pull off a reasonably successful first gig for our new Irish Interchainables jewelry line at Celtic Classic in Bethlehem. We had quite a lot of great help, which is the only reason we could pull it off! |
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| My mother and I have decided to let go of the pottery side of the business for now. We will focus on growing the Irish Interchainables brand and turning that into a profitable business. With the business, my job, and the new family coming, I will still have my hands more than full! Busy or not, we are going start having parties again! Trick or Treat night is on! 🙂 And I am dreaming of happy hours and Christmas parties.Speaking of Christmas and holidays – we have no idea how we are going to manage gatherings with all this new family. We will figure it out as we go. It is a problem I am infinitely grateful to have.Thank you!!!Thank you to all of you who have been praying and sending your love and good vibrations our way. Please keep sending it – especially to Arif and his family and to all the families who are so scared and vulnerable. I can’t tell you how much it means to us and to all of our Afghan friends and family that you care about them and are wishing them well. Sending you big hugs! Thank you. |
| Copyright (C) 2021 Clay Street Speakeasy. All rights reserved. |
The Boys are Home 09/21/21
https://mailchi.mp/f3dc548c2d2d/the-boys-are-home
| Isa, Roshan, and Ghani are home! Isa arrived home first and hit the ground running! On his first day back he bought a car. On his second day back he started shopping for a house. :-)He already has placed an offer on a house and it is looking like it could go through. The house is only about 5 minutes away! |
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| Ghani had another crazy adventure. He and his wife (evidently they were legally married in Pakistan) and sister and 13 year old niece and 4 and 6 year old nephews were all at the camp in New Mexico, near El Paso. Ghani’s friend, Hamid, who is a truck driver and was in the area volunteered to pick up some clothes for them. So Hamid came to the base with clothes and was able to see Ghani. |
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| Then Ghani decided the kids didn’t have enough food, so he was going out to get snacks. When he came back, they wouldn’t allow him on the base and Sadiqa’s phone was not on wifi, so he had no way to contact his family inside.So, eventually he gave up and managed to get to Grand Rapids where he picked up some of his important documents and (I assume) clothing and we sorted out US sim cards for his sister and wife.In the meantime, Nolan contacted the base commander and was able to smooth things over and get someone to help Sadiqa get on the wifi. So Ghani went back to TX and this time he was able to see his family. From there, Ghani drove to Virginia to pick up Roshan, and the two of them arrived home around 5:30 this morning.Ghani’s niece, Yasamin, has been messaging Nolan. When he asked her how she was doing, she said “we are still in Texas and my Uncle leave us in the middle.” Nolan let her know that Ghani didn’t want to leave them and was upset that he couldn’t get in. |
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| No one is sure how long the processing will take for the boys’ families. They think it could be another 3-4 weeks. In the meantime, the boys have plenty to do to get things ready. And our daughters-in-law have the app to practice for their driving permit test. I am not sure if we can send them anything via the mail or Amazon delivery. Probably not – they are usually pretty careful about that sort of thing on military bases. |
| And excellent news – finally Mujda is out of Afghanistan and safe in Qatar.We are continuing to work on getting a bunch of other people out, including Arif’s siblings and Hedayat’s family.More soon – just wanted to let you know that the boys are home!!! |
| Copyright (C) 2021 Clay Street Speakeasy. All rights reserved. |
Update September 2 2021
https://us16.campaign-archive.com/?u=94fc280d6b53c1c8790cc37e1&id=4a77f5bf0b
This is another super quick update….
Back in the USA!!!!
Roshan and Ghani and their families arrived at Dulles! Roshan and his family were moved to a base south of Richmond,VA and Ghani and his family are on a base near El Paso, TX. There is a bunch of process to go through for their family members, so it may be a week or two until that is finished.
We aren’t really sure what will happen from there, so we will wait for more news.
When Roshan and Isa left Kabul, they were allowed one small piece of luggage – by the time Ghani got out, they were allowed the clothes on their backs only – they had to leave backpacks and bags behind. So Ghani has been in the same clothes for several days. He is looking forward to changing his clothes!
Our friend Mujda was on her way to the border and an evacuation flight, but there seems to be some snag. We are very hopeful that she will be out of Afghanistan and safe soon.
Hedayat’s family and Arif’s family are still in Kabul and we are hoping to find ways to get them out.
Arif’s friends – the young couple with the baby are out! They were in Qatar the last we heard. We are so relieved for them and looking forward to seeing them here in Allentown soon.
Isa and Sima and family arrived in Spain. We are not sure how long they will be there.
We are already learning about people who are arriving locally and will need help in the coming weeks and we are happy to do whatever we can. The boys are volunteering to translate and we will just do whatever we can do to help people who arrive.
And we are committed to continuing to pursue every possible way of getting the families of our loved ones out of Afghanistan and to safety. There are so many who have been left behind and we are working to try to get them to safety.
We haven’t been able to locate volunteers to help with completing SIV and humanitarian parole applications. If you can follow directions, use a computer, and type, and have an hour or two, we would love to enlist you to help one of our friends and family.
If you are looking for ways to help – HIAS is handling the influx of people to Philadelphia and accepting both financial and in-kind donations. Resettlement agencies are looking for people who are willing to help as foster parents for minors and support for families and adults who are arriving. Volunteers for just about everything are welcome.
The resettlement agencies have been so downsized in the past few years – they are doing the best they can, but ramping up to meet this kind of influx would be challenging in the best of times. And since their capacity has been so diminished, it is going to take a lot of volunteers to respond to this situation.
I can tell you from personal experience – there is no good time, and you are never really ready, but opening your home and heart to people in need brings so much joy and expands your life in ways that are hard to describe. Being a parent is hard, and there are times when you may wonder if you are cut out for it. It is the same with being a foster parent. And just as the joys of being a parent end up being so much more than the worries, so it is with foster parenting.
In whatever way you can contribute, I urge you to do so.
When it is all said and done, we don’t regret the things we did, we regret the things we didn’t do.
And I won’t harass you any more – but did feel that I had to make an impassioned plea. People say to Nolan and me that we are so special – but we are not really special. We had great parents and families who loved us and gave us everything they could, and we want to continue that tradition. Loving people is loving people. Our families are by blood and by gift, and if we are lucky, many times both.
Friday, August 27
https://mailchi.mp/40dbd4812bae/thursday-aug-19-update-1588609
Ghani and Sadiqa are in the airportGhani arrived safely in Kabul after a harrowing journey. He met up with family there, we rushed through getting everyone’s details submitted to the various agencies and offices and then after waiting a bit because of a security threat, they went to the Airport. This is a super quick update…. |
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Photo from Kabul Airport by Sima – I believe Isa is in the back walking and talking with the soldier. |
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The other 7 or more members of Ghani’s family were not allowed through the gate, so they are in Kabul and we are working on helping them, but there isn’t all that much we can do. Our friend Mujda is still trying to reach one of the gates at the airport and having a horrible time. There are at least 2 articles about her saga in our local paper, The Morning Call. Arif’s siblings are stuck – the Australians pulled out right before the first explosion so we don’t know what to do to help them. Hedayat’s family still haven’t received any documentation for them to go to the airport, and hope of them getting out is dwindling. The SIV family from California did get out – just the mom dad and kids – they all had green cards or us passports – the rest of their family could not get out. But at least the Habib family are safe in Qatar. And we will give them some guidance on how to help the rest of the family, assuming they can get out of Afghanistan. We are hearing from more folks who should qualify for SIV or who have applied and are waiting for something they can present at the airport so that they can get out. Or who have something but haven’t been able to get into the airport. The military have volunteers from all over helping to follow up on requests, but they are way behind. We got a call (I don’t remember when it was exactly, but recently) about Roshan. I said Roshan is out and safe in Germany, but we have all these other people who are not, so that person is working on helping too. We just keep sending requests for assistance to all the emails we get. Arif’s friends – the young couple with the baby who are SIV (the new mom was an interpreter, dad is a journalist) have been taken by Embassy bus to the airport every day for the past 4 days but have been unable to even get off the bus because of the Taliban. So after sitting in the bus all day, they are returned home, I guess. Then they try again the next day. We are running out of time to keep doing things that don’t work! We have heard from Shegufa in Germany – she and Roshan’s sisters are in a hanger filled with cots. Roshan and his young brother are in a tent somewhere we assume nearby. Roshan doesn’t have wifi so is having trouble communicating. But at least they are safe and soon (we have no idea when) they will be in the US. A photo of Shegufa’s digs are below. |
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We are starting to get all the info together for the folks who are left behind to get registered with Human Rights Watch and various US govt offices so that if they can make it to a place that has a US Embassy, we can start the paperwork to get them here. Evidently, there are systems in place to facilitate that now. The hard part is just getting to a US Embassy. So I have repeated my message already too many times to the never ending stream of anguished requests – without a us passport or green card or approved visa, we can’t get you out via Kabul. You have to stay safe and when possible, get yourself and family to Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, etc. Once there, we can process the paperwork to have you come to the USA. Yes, we know that it is very dangerous there and we know that right now there is no safe way to get out of Afghanistan. It doesn’t matter how many letters you have from USA companies or government officials… they just won’t let you in the airport and it is unsafe there too. The banks are not open nor is Western Union, so people are out of money for food and other necessities. We hope things will start to improve soon. And we will keep you informed! Thank all of your for your continued prayers and support! |
August 25 Update
I didn’t have time to format this so just copied and pasted the html from the email – not ideal, but done. 🙂
https://mailchi.mp/dd533d9df784/august-25-update
Roshan and most of his family are Safe!After days of ordeal, Roshan and Shegufa finally made it into the airport and on a plane out of Afghanistan. They were able to bring Roshan’s siblings and an uncle. His parents, Aunt, and young cousins remain in Kabul. He was in Qatar briefly, but has left and just just arrived in Germany. Isa is still in Qatar, and still super happy to be there. He is doing an interview with our friend Pamela Varkony, so we will send a link to the interview in our next update. |
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Other good news – a young family who are friends of Arif and qualified for the Special Immigrant Visa because of the wife’s work as an interpreter are finally safe. The couple and their one month old baby should be on the way to Germany or the US soon. Arif’s siblings have received their Visas from Australia but are struggling to gain access to the airport. The got close a few times today but then there was a terrorist threat alert and they were told to leave the area by the Australian government. We hope they can get some rest and that they will be successful tomorrow. We haven’t heard from Ghani since he left for Kabul from Pakistan. The trip should take 12-16 hours, but we aren’t sure exactly when they left or if they had to take any detours. When Ghani manages to make it there safely, we will do our best to get him, Sadiqa, and Ghani’s other family members out, but the situation is so dire. And while the US is committed to getting citizens and green card holders and Visa holders out, they are actively discouraging people from trying to bring any family other than spouses and non-adult children. There is less and less hope for people stranded there – friends and families of so many of our extended Afghan family here… the system for getting visas through the refugee system has proven impossible to penetrate. We go around and around the outside, but like all those people trying to get into the airport in Kabul, we are not finding a way in. We are trying to remain hopeful that they can survive to get out some other way and we will do everything we can to help them from wherever they manage to escape to. We are happy for those few who are getting out and quite worried for those who remain there. As someone said to me recently, what we thought was going to be a sprint has turned into a marathon. Please continue to contact your members of congress to urge them to help Afghans at risk – families of US citizens and others with ties to the West who are in danger. Please continue to pray for all of them. We are starting to consider that there will soon be plenty to do here to support the families that have escaped and will provide more information on opportunities for helping as we learn about them. Thank you. |
Isa Made it to the Airport!
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