May 5, 2017
I wrote this over a week ago and forgot to send it… Just a few too many things going on, as usual. Here it is…
The spring is going way too fast!
We spent a good bit of April looking for Ghani’s 350z. He was totally hooked on that particular car. I tried my best to talk him out of it – it is so impractical, and definitely a target for police and speeding tickets. But he really, really wanted that car. And I thought about it for a while and realized, “What the hell? He is 18 years old, and why shouldn’t he have a 350z if that is what he really wants? He will have plenty of time for practical cars.” And so, I suggested that a convertible would be nice. J It took a while, but we finally found the right car at the right price and it is a beautiful burgundy convertible! The amazingly sweet thing is that Ghani lets me borrow it whenever. How did we get so lucky?
I was happy to think I was finished with car shopping, when Isa decided he had better get a car. Summer is coming and he is planning to go to Lehigh Carbon Community College (LCCC) and will need wheels to get there. Isa was a lot less picky than Ghani; he wanted a 4-door hatch back and while he prefers Mazda, Hyundai, Toyota and Honda, he would consider pretty much any brand. We looked a just a few cars before he found the one – right in Allentown. We both played hooky and now Isa is the proud owner of a white Mazda3 hatchback.
At this moment, Ghani and Isa are outside, washing and cleaning their cars together.
Roshan is driving the Volvo and Hedayat isn’t driving yet, so I am hoping we won’t be adding any more cars or drivers to our insurance (or our driveway) at least for a little while! So far, no one has gotten any speeding tickets, though all three have gotten parking tickets. The boys really hate wasting money, so I don’t think they will be getting any more tickets any time soon. But the teenage brain is a strange thing.
Isa, Roshan and Hedayat all started on the Allen volleyball team. Isa is really passionate about volleyball, Roshan enjoys it a lot, and Hedayat just did it for something to do, but as with all the other athletic things he has tried, he is good at it and enjoys it. But the coach is a mean son of a gun and a bully. Last week, Roshan had enough, and quit. He wasn’t having fun, so he figured there wasn’t any reason why he should make himself unhappy. Isa and Hedayat stuck it out, as there was just a week more of the season. Isa has received a lot of mentions in the school announcements as he always has the most “kills” per game (averaging 15 per game) and I think he might break a record. The coach’s lousy attitude soured the whole situation for the kids, so they are looking forward to joining a summer league and enjoying the game without being yelled at. One of Nolan’s coworkers at PPL keeps asking him to join his Volleyball club where he coaches.
One beautiful warm evening two weeks ago, after a game, Isa and Roshan were sitting out in the yard drinking tea and eating nuts. Hedayat was still out with his friends and Ghani was in a tutoring session with Angie. I was enjoying watching the boys from the kitchen window, and Isa caught me watching and motioned for me to come out. I joined them on the grass and ate nuts and drank tea with them. Eventually, Ghani and Hedayat and Nolan joined us. As the light faded, the boys explained that after work, this is what people do, they share tea and nuts or fruit and chat about the day. What a lovely tradition. It was hard for me to sit still, with so much on my to-do list, but I forced myself to relax, and am glad I did. It is really quite something to be invited in to share these experiences with them.
Later in the week we were talking about culture, and about how different things are here, and Hedayat was expressing his dismay at how women are treated in Afghanistan. Roshan was saying (again) that he wants to marry and Afghan girl and that he will work and she will stay at home. And I said, “not if you plan to live here – that isn’t going to work”. And as we talked about how being here makes things different, they said that they worry that they will lose their culture. And I told them that they won’t lose it – they will hold on to the wonderful things about their culture, the food, the dancing, the drinking tea, the warm and lasting friendships they have with other boys – those things they should cherish. The things they don’t like so much, they don’t have to hold on to. They seemed quite satisfied with that answer, though I am sure it isn’t the last conversation we will have on the subject.
Graduation is coming soon, and then Hedayat and Ghani are spending a week at a local college through the DREAMS program. Time is going too fast. I want to hold onto these moments a bit longer.
I will post more photos soon!