Nolan and I completed all the training and paperwork last month to become foster parents for refugee children.
A bit of background: We are working with Lutheran Child and Family Services out of Philadelphia. They provide our case management and in addition to handling the placements, they help us with things like enrolling the kids in school, working through legal matters, providing physical resources, support and services. (Our caseworkers are super.) The children who come are generally 15-17 years old. They come via the UN Refugee Resettlement program. So they have been interviewed and vetted by someone from the UN. Most of these children have been living in refugee camps for years before they get an opportunity to get into the program. Countries around the world take in small numbers of these Unaccompanied Refugee Minors (URMs) each year. There are so many of these children, around the world. They have lost their homes and families, mostly due to wars and other kinds of violence. There is a wonderful movie called “The Good Lie” that will give you a good idea of how it works.
Last Friday afternoon we got the call from Lutheran Children and Family Services with a referral. So we might be getting our first fosters soon! They are two boys of Hazari ethnicity from Afghanistan. They are not related but from the same area. One is 11 and the other is 16. Evidently the Hazari are marginalized by the majority Sunnis and persecuted by the Taliban. They are believed to be descendants of the guards left by that famous Mongolian conqueror. I can’t think of his name just at this moment. Evidently the boys speak English – though how much is anyone’s guess. They are living at a Christian World Services shelter in Jakarta, Indonesia (where they like to play fusball and take English classes). The little guy has been there since May of last year, the older boy since February of 2013.
The children may be with us until they are 21. The idea is for us to help them to learn how to function in our society, get an education and learn the skills necessary to be successful adults in the US. They remain legal wards of the state, I think, until they turn 21.
We have no idea when they will come. And of course there is no guarantee that they will come. They could arrive next week, next month, or in 2-3 months, or something could come up and they won’t come at all. So that puts a whole new spin on things for us. We need a bigger car. And a soccer ball.
They are Shia Muslims, and fortunately there is a big mosque/community center near my mom’s house and they seem quite welcoming and open. Our friend Fran has an Afghani friend so she has reached out to see if the friend will meet with us. Fran seems to think she will be a great resource.
Nolan and I are excited and scared. I think we have two main fears – What if they don’t like us? And how do we keep them safe? How do we prepare them to face the kids (and adults) who will inevitably say mean things because they are Afghani? That is the biggie. Nolan and I both feel a tremendous amount of fear about that.
And we’ll just have to take it one step at a time. J
We’ll let you know when we hear something about the timeline. I suspect we may not hear anything until the folks in Indonesia have the travel arrangements made. In the meantime, we shop for cars and make mental notes and lists… things they will need, places to go… swimming lessons, backpacks, ice cream sundaes… toothbrushes, sneakers, desks… the art museum, the zoo… happy thoughts!
(In case any of you are wondering about our housing situation… we tried listing our house with a realtor, and nothing happened. The market here is not – there is just nothing happening. So we are resigned to spending another winter in beautiful Mahoning Valley – though we are certainly open to a miracle happening.)
If you have any questions, we will do our best to answer them.