Everyone is Here 12/8/21

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Everyone is Here! UpdateSomeone recently asked me how things are going and my response was – a lot faster than I am! And that is pretty much how it is.
The Girls Enjoying Trick-or-Treat Night
Isa – Isa’s house is lovely! Sima, and her father and Isa’s uncle are doing well. At some point we will have an open house. Right now, Isa is back on the road on and off and things are mostly quite groovy.
Introducing Isa’s family to Dominos!
We were able to provide most of what they needed that wasn’t supplied by the resettlement agency through the generous support of many people. and I need to give a special thanks to our friends Charlie and Margaret and the Moravian Church in Emmaus.
Some of the Michigan boys visiting Isa’s new abode
Roshan – Roshan’s family moved into their new home in Whitehall over Thanksgiving weekend. They are doing great – talk about luck! Roshan managed to bring 6 people with him from Afghanistan – his fiancée, 3 sisters, one brother, and an uncle. That in itself is amazing! But how to take care of all of them coming here with nothing?
The New House in Whitehall
freshly painted and full of beautiful people and things
When they arrived, Roshan’s family stayed in a converted barn apartment in Alburtis until Roshan closed on the house in Whitehall. The family in Alburtis that hosted Roshan’s family have been amazing – driving them to English classes and taking them shopping, and hooking them up with a friend who did at least one tour in Afghanistan and has a junk hauling business who helped get the new house fully furnished. Two of Roshan’s siblings are in high school and the other family members are working part time at the Afghan restaurant on Tilghman St. The Alburtis couple also has a daughter who is an immigration lawyer who connected Roshan with a group that is helping him with the petition to bring his parents here.
The Nephews
For Thanksgiving, the Alburtis couple graciously hosted Roshan’s clan and my brother and sister-in-law in Bethlehem very graciously hosted everyone else! They all had a wonderful time and we certainly have a whole lot to be grateful about. We weren’t sure how many people or dogs would be in our house and weren’t sure if it would be safe to leave them, so Nolan, Arif and I enjoyed a quiet evening at home.
Sukaina and Yasamin
Ghani – Ghani’s sister and niece and nephews arrived and they didn’t quite have the luck of Roshan. The Alburtis couple was not able to take them and so they are staying at our house for the time being. It is not ideal, but we are making it work. Ghani was finally approved for a mortgage today, after Roshan offered to co-sign, so we are once again in intense house-hunting mode. (Thank you Diane!) The kids need to get registered for school, but we aren’t sure which district and are hoping to have more clarification on that within the next few days. In the meantime, keeping the kids out of trouble is a challenge, but we are enjoying many delicious meals that Sukaina is cooking for us.
Sukaina and kids and Arif’s gang at Leeser Lake
Arif – Arif’s siblings who were stuck in Kabul are finally and amazingly safe in Australia now with their big brother, Reza. And the young SIV family with the baby arrived here from Poland last week. It turns out that the young man, Esmatullah, is the brother of Arif’s sister-in-law – married to his big brother, Reza, in Australia. So they are relatives of Arif’s.
The little trouble makers are cute.
Since we have Ghani’s family here, we don’t have any rooms available so the couple with the baby are staying in a hotel room. But they have been sponsored by an interfaith group led by the Moravian Church of Bethlehem who have raised funds to pay their rent and are actively looking for an apartment for them.
Aziza, Esmat, and the baby, Rayan, have been here almost every day and they are super lovely. Both of these young parents were journalists in Afghanistan and have college degrees. They had good jobs, had purchased a new house and furnished it and had decided to have a child. And then the situation started going downhill there and they were approved for the Special Immigrant Visa (SIV) because Aziza worked for the Army. We had been awaiting their arrival since early Spring, and then in mid July, the baby was born, and a few weeks later, the country was lost. There were quite a few fraught weeks before they were able to get out safely.
Yasamin with baby Rayan
We are super grateful that they made it out and they are excited to be here and to go to school and create a new life here. Arif has been amazing with them and with Ghani’s family. Mohamad is also great with the kids and with the baby. When I have time to reflect on all of this, it will be an amazingly lovely memory! In the moment, it seems a bit hectic and chaotic and sometimes overwhelming. 🙂
Charlie and Yasamin working on Christmas cookies
A couple of anecdotes…Isa was telling me that one evening after they moved into the new house, Sima had made dinner and after dinner, father-in-law (Jumakhan) and uncle (Esatullah) sat down and were relaxing while Sima did dishes and cleaned the kitchen. And Isa told the men to get up and go do the dishes. They protested mildly, saying that Sima had it covered, and Sima said she was happy to do the dishes and Isa said no way. Sima made the dinner, you guys get up and clean the dishes! Isa and I had a good chuckle about it and agreed that when Sima is at school and working, everyone is going to need to pitch in to help. I have noticed that every time we have been to their home, father-in-law and uncle have been very good about serving and clearing and washing up. 🙂
Sima trying out the pottery wheel
And Mohamad, who still says he thinks he can manage more than one wife, said that after Ghani’s sister made dinner the other night, he came in to do the dishes and she tried to shoo him away and he said (quite proudly) that here, everyone is equal and he can do dishes since she made the dinner. He sounded happy about that and proud, which is really sweet.
These are such little things, but so important because they show that we are making a difference in the day to day things, which are really the important things, and somehow through all of this we are raising really lovely young men. It doesn’t always feel that way to us, of course. There have been a lot of really challenging times when we wonder what the hell we are doing and how we can imagine that we are qualified to take this on and that kind of thing. I am pretty sure that all parents feel that way sometimes, but as a foster parent without biological children, I also suspect the anxiety can be more acute.
We had some extra kids home for Thanksgiving! Two of Lucy’s babies – Honey and Frida
Other Updates
Hedayat is still in Landsdale working at the factory that makes wires and doing okay, though his roommates have gone off to get commercial driving licenses, so he is home alone most of the time. We are hoping to see him this weekend.
Abu joined the Air Force! He wants to continue studying medicine and is looking at the Air Force as a way to continue his education without incurring student debt. He wasn’t expecting to get called for another 9 months or more, but a position opened up suddenly for a supply chain specialist and he figured, what the heck? So he had to pack and ship out in less than 24 hours! He is at basic training in Texas and when that is finished sometime around the end of December, he will go for training in Virginia, where we will visit him.
I am sorry that I have not been better at communicating. ( Since I last wrote we also had to have new roofs installed on our house and garage and set up shows in Bethlehem and Allentown for the holidays.)
One of these days things will calm down a bit, but for now, please know that I am thinking about you and grateful for your love and support and am very much looking forward to chatting over coffee or a glass of wine soon! And if you are up for roller skating, let me know!
For those who are trying to keep track, we have 16 new family members and here is the breakdown:
Roshan – total of 6: (Fiancée – Shegufa; Sisters: Latifa, Fariza, Frishta; Brother – Shawkat; Uncle Nematullah)
Isa – total of 3: (Fiancée – Sima; Uncle – Esatullah; Father-in-law – Jumakhan)
Ghani – total of 4: (Sister – Sukaina, Niece – Yasamin; Nephews: Manzoor and Mehran)
Arif – total of 3: (brother-in-law – Esmatullah, wife of brother-in-law – Aziza, baby – Rayan)